Lucy's Drunk Adventures
by Sen'ninriki
Summary: What happens when you give the Celestial Mage alcohol? Everything. Watch her experiences go down with everyone she knows, and hear her stories on how she might have ended up there in the first place. She is not as innocent as she looks. PM me people you may want to see next.
1. Yukino

Chapter 1

How oh how did I end up like this?

I continuously fiddled with the newfound piercings on my body. I Lucy Heartfilia have somehow turned into the female version of Gajeel Redfox overnight.

"Lucy-sama!" I heard a female voice cry. Next thing I new I was glomped by Yukino Aguria, yes her.

Appears I am not the only one with facial decorations, although I have _**way** _more then her. She only has three - she never got anything pierced before - where they regularly are placed when your young and a nose piercing. I have 15 fudging piercings on my body! 5 in each ear, a nose piercing, eyebrow piercing, tongue piercing, lip piercing, and a bellybutton piercing.

What the hell happened last night!

All I remember is that we went to an all guild party, got drunk and **BLANK! **We must have partied hard if we came out with piercings and not remember a damn thing. I mean what retard thought it was a good idea to bring Gajeel to a party in the first place. Hell, where were my teammates because I remember someone with red hair enter the building with us. But then again we saw a masked guy with a hidden red tattoo there as well.

"I have never been so scared in my life!" whined Yukino. "I have faced a wyvern before!" All of a sudden Yukino looked way past my shoulder, frightened she jumped off me and started stripping off her clothing.

"Have you met Gray Fullbuster before?" I asked curious. I have never seen a girl randomly strip before.

"Do I have a tattoo anywhere?" Yukino asked extremely scared, as if she has seen Hell and she isn't coming back. All of a sudden I felt my face pale. _Why the hell did she suddenly ask that question? _I thought. My eyes widened and were filled to the brim with tears. _Unless I have- no I-I can't! That's freaking impossible - not really -, I hoped it was impossible!_

I joined Yukino in a stripping fit. The top right part of my stomach had a black PlayBoy sign and on my back between my shoulder blades were Angel wings. I was wearing a backless shirt that night so it must have given Yukino eye access to see it. But Yukino had a sleeved shirt. "Holy Bacon! We have the same tattoos!" "Tattoo(s)!" Yukino ran and once again glomped me again, we weren't familiar with the place so we had know idea if we were alone or not. When Yukino glomped me we landed on the bed inside of the room in a very provocative position.

"Hey! Yeah I found them-oh hehe," The mysterious ma-oh shit, is that Jellal burst into the room. We saw steam, not from anger but from embarrassment and perverted thoughts. "Sorry to interrupt. I'll be going now." 'Mystogan said as he tried to sidestep his way out the room. Because of his long cloak he failed miserably, he nearly tripped several times.

I tried to get a look at Jellal to tell him this was a misunderstanding but Yukino's hair was in the way so she couldn't see. "Jel-Sei- Fuck it! Whatever your name is, this is not what it looks like!" Lucy yelled, although Yukino's hair nearly got caught in Lucy's mouth multiple times.

"Sure it is," Jellal said, you can see that annoying yet familiar smirk that said 'I will never let you forget this.' Oh hell she will never forget this, this is the day she got a tattoo and piercings. "I didn't know you were that type of girl." Jellal said with a sly grin on his face as he once again tried to sidestep out the room. "Fuck it." and with that Jellal regularly walked out the room.

Lucy just then remembered something. Why hadn't Yukino moved yet?

Yukino was frozen in place with a maximum blush covering her face. It surpassed that of Erza's scarlet hair, Yukino has experienced so much today. I'm shocked she's stable. Must be the hangover the two young girls are experiencing and handling well. Slowly and shakily Yukino got back up.

Yukino went to the corner of the room where the clothes were thrown, picked up her clothes, and put them on.

Silence.

Not a sound was made, Lucy didn't even get up because she was currently afraid of angering the poor girl. She knew what the silence meant. The quiet screamed the truth. The same way Yukino got up Lucy did, but a little speedier and rushed however I couldn't find my skirt so shorts for me. Yukino sighed and faced Lucy. "Lucy," Yukino began. Lucy flinched, Yukino didn't even add her honorary honorific at the end of her name when she addressed Lucy.

"We will never bring up this incident again, this never happened." Yukino demanded. Lucy was too busy pissing herself at the moment to say anything. -crack- Unfortunately that just so happened to be Yukino's patience.

Oh Fuck.

Next thing Lucy knew, her hair was a mess from nodding so furiously. Lucy was pretty sure if Kagura was in her position she would have been pissed herself by now.

Note to Self: Never piss off Yukino or you will be a retard forever. Purposely.

* * *

"The fuck." Yukino and Lucy said in unison. When they walked out the room to get rid of unwanted memories they came face-to-face with Lucy's guild after a party. In a new city, so yeah. It wasn't a beautiful sight.

As soon as they walked out the room they saw Levy tied up to a swerving chair with chains. Probably Gajeel, this is his work. That sentence forced unwanted perverse thoughts to come to mind. Levy's head was down so they couldn't see her face, but after lifting it up they wished they hadn't.

Levy's face was painted to resemble Erza and Jellal's future child, even the tattoo courtesy of Reedus . She was wearing her Gale-Force glasses with tape covering it, 1 huge X on each eye. Her clothes looked like they had been cut on purpose and her skin was painted know it was a very disturbing sight, though the glitter and ribbons sticking out around her now wild hair was worth it.

Master Bob was in the arms of Gray Fullbuster. Yes you heard correctly, in Gray's arms not the other way around. Gray was wearing a Spray-on tuxedo with half is face reminding you of Mario and the other half of a shark. Master Bob was wearing Gray's boxers and stretching them out, high heels, a rainbow colored afro wig, and his bare stomach had a name tag that said,

"Hello, I'm sexy and I know it."

There was something new about the building. I realized it when I remembered the chains on Levy and the odd amount of chairs being centered specifically around something. Also the amount of Jewels on a stage. Holy shit, there was a stripping pole in the center of the room. A chair with a sleeping Makarov was in front with a bag of jewels, and an iPhone was in his hands. Walking through the crowd of wasted people Lucy picked up the phone which she realized he didn't own, it was Mirajane's.

On the screen was a certain video that looked like it had been replayed multiple times because of the finger marks. She clicked the replay button to see who this sorry loser was since it was a huge hit on YouTube. (Bad Apple by Touhou Playing) The first thing seen was a magic energy light show, or just lasers. That explained why it looked like Christmas passed with all these lights here. A girl in a skimpy kimono walked onto the stage, some part of her was still in the shadows so she couldn't be identified. She started to do a little dance and remove parts to her already exposing kimono. She heard a voice next to Makarov on the video and knew it was Yukino she even jumped in the video too, "Take it all off baby!" Audio Yukino yelled. At least Yukino was in the clear.

I saw a flash of blonde hair deducting that to only her and Jenny Realight. The blonde now in only a kimono-like bra and shorts jumped onto the pole with only one leg hanging on but it seemed she had no trouble at all. Getting a closer look and praying to Mavis it wasn't me I saw her face.

Why does karma attack me at such terrible times. It was me. I hoped no one recognized me though.

DAMN IT! They tagged me and even had the title with my name in it. "Lucy of Fairy Tail: Best Stripper Alive!

I have to admit it was pretty good, even the exclamation points agree. I got five of them! That's like five stars.

"Sup Luce," a unknown male from behind me said. Wait, he sounded awfully familiar. I could feel eyes burning into the phone, they were just staring then I felt him land on my back with this huge ass grin. "You were AWESOME last night, see you at eight." the unknown male said as his hand had rested on my breasts like they were an armrest. Then I noticed pink hair.

Natsu probably isn't innocent anymore after witnessing my awesome dancing and stripping skills. "You were so wasted last night, you even beat Cana in a drinking match." Tch, as if. "As if, I'm a Heartfilia. We don't get wasted, we get buzzed." I said while emphasizing the buzzed part both verbal and with her fingers. Natsu winked and walked off, in all honesty I had no idea what he was talking about.

Erza walked over, there were very few people awake. Like seriously maybe only 5 including me and Yukino. I just noticed Yukino was staring wide eyed at my neck. I saw purple, apparently I understood Natsu's words when he wanted to see me tonight now. I had a hickie, me and Yukino happen to be the only ones with amnesia about last night.

"Where's Hibiki?" Erza questioned, she said it like he was supposed to here with us. "What do you mean?" Yukino asked, completely curious as to why he would be with us. "Mystogan said he was underneath your bed, he didn't tell you did he?" Erza confided. "Nope." Yukino answered for me.

It all made sense, my skirt going missing forcing me to wear shorts and the feeling of being watched as I speedily put my clothes back on.

"HIBIKI!"

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**There will be more chapters if I get reviews asking for them.**


	2. Erza

Chapter 2

"LUCY!" The little world of black that I had become so accustomed to seemed to quickly fade away as I was being roughly woken up. Opening my eyes I see something I have only seen once, Erza in a cat costume. World, you shock me at so many times. But then again... this is Erza. "Er- Erza?" I asked, unsure if this was the dream or the world of peace and quiet was.

"What the hell happened?!" Erza roared. "Where are Natsu and Gray?" Erza questioned, we were on a mission last time I checked. "I don't know, what time is it?" I was seriously getting scared, hell, I'm pissing my... panties(?) Where is my skirt? I sit up and immediately regret that action because the world is spinning faster then it should be. "Okay," Erza began, very calmly for someone in this sort of situation. "The last thing I recall us doing was finishing a request, you sug-" "AND Natsu." "You and Natsu suggesting we go out for a drink."

That was mostly accurate, seeing as I AM a party goddess, and Natsu happens to be a party god as well. I sighed, Erza could only remember so little considering she's a lightweight. "Black hair." I suddenly spewed. "Huh?" "I remember seeing people with black hair and no clothes on." I told her. Erza growled lowly, couldn't blame her, it is probably Gray's doing. "Must be Gray's doing, when I find him he shall be punished." You could practically see pain that will soon be inflicted on Gray rise from the word 'punishment'. "I bet Juvia wants to be the one doing that to Mr. Stripper Man." I muttered. "Huh, Juvia heard Juvia's name." Me and Erza looked over to see Juvia in a flamingo costume covered in feathers, nothing BUT feathers.

"Juvia, do you know what happened?" I asked, it was worth a try to ask her. I don't think a little beer or whatever will make her drunk, I mean she IS water. "Juvia thinks so, the alcohol Juvia consumed was very heavy." Juvia walked over and sat down next to me, she turned and slapped me with the flyaway feathers on her costume. Personally I think she did that on purpose.

"Juvia remembers going to a club and everyone staring. Gray-sama made an impression on the people and they started stripping their clothes off, Natsu made some buffalo wings with his 'Fire Dragons Roar'-" Lucy interrupted her. "Whoa, whoa, whoa... Natsu can cook?" "Anyway, Erza became famous with the men there and you did too love rival."

Erza looked intrigued seemingly trying to hide her blush. "So... do you know where we are?" Juvia looked at the ceiling. "We're in China." Lucy nodded in understanding. "That explains a lot actually, the black haired people and the fact I couldn't understand a word they were saying."

* * *

"Lucy! Get down here!" Erza yelled, she was clueless to as why Lucy was up there in the first place. "Not yet! I trying to find a tall black haired guy and pink haired guy." That did not explain why Lucy was wearing army fatigues on top of someone's roof throwing skittles at people yelling, "TASTE THE RAINBOW!"

"Just get down here." Erza shouted. "Am I not allowed to have a little fun while I'm up here?" Erza facepalmed. "Where did you even find the army fatigues?" "I-I... I don't know..." Juvia looked at Lucy and sighed. "Juvia thinks Gray-sama and Natsu are still at the club." Lucy climbed in through the window into the stranger's home. "Nǐ shì shuí?!" "Sorry, mam... wait do you have any wine?" _BANG! _"Ow, ow! I get it! You have no wine! Can I borrow some clothes? Thank you." "Māmā, tā tōu nǐ de yīfú!"

Lucy came out the building wearing a white graphic tank top that said something in Chinese, black mini skirt, and black ankle boots. Her hair was tied in two ponytails using red ribbons.

"Alright, one problem: Where is the club?" Erza and Lucy looked at Juvia who blinked. "Do not look at Juvia, Juvia does not know."

Lucy walked over to the closest person, a girl who was a map. With a super huge smile, "Ni hao." The girl looked up at Lucy. "Ni hao, nǐ zhīdào jùlèbù zài nǎlǐ?" Lucy still had that huge smile on her face. "Super!" Then she jumped into the air clapping, then her smile started to fade. "Dammit! Why didn't I watch that much Ni hao Kilan!" Lucy looked at Erza and Juvia and asked the question that made then groan in frustration.

"Do any of you know how to speak Chinese?"

* * *

There was practically a human traffic jam, shimmying through tons of people is very difficult. Especially when it seemed every each they moved took ten minutes. What happened? Last time they were around this area it was a very loose place to be, it seemed like they multiplied in less than a day.

"Juvia! Do you think you can cry and drown everyone around us so we can get by? Just don't kill them." Juvia looked down in realization, "Why didn't Juvia think of that?" Juvia raised her hands and water flooded the street and people started swimming by, Juvia made a air bubble so they could breathe while underneath the water.

"I'm actually more curious now, what exactly happened at the club?" Lucy asked, hearing about it earlier this morning made her question. "Well, Juvia doesn't have it all down since Juvia was protecting Gray-sama from other girls. Though Juvia remembers Erza dancing with plenty of guys, Gray-sama in a drinking contest with Juvia, Lucy dancing with any guy she could see then street dancing then getting called into a dance competition with Erza, winning, then you and Natsu flirting and dancing together. Juvia learned Natsu is very perverted, he stared at your breast for quite some time."

"Well then, how did I end up in a hotel in my lingerie, Erza in a cat costume, and you wearing a flamingo?" "Juvia saw you take someone with us but he left after five minutes so you stripped out of your clothes and passed out, Erza was playing with a cat she found that turned out to have rabies and changed her outfit to that. Juvia was wearing a flamingo costume because Erza made Juvia, the cat had no food so Juvia was a sacrifice. Juvia would have stayed by Gray-sama's side but he said to watch you guys before he passed out from excessive alcohol."

"Oh, we're here." Lucy opened the door as soon as Juvia dropped the water, she was met with a weird sight.

Natsu was wobbling around babbling nonsense about how boobs will take over the world and how he had no problem with that, no second later he collapsed. Gray was just sitting on the floor with cats licking his face, staring at a puddle of liquid. "Did I kill Juvia? I think I did. Are cats licking my face? Yes they are, boy I'm a retard for letting this happen."

"Gray," Natsu said as he lifted his face from the ground. "Shut up, that's cat pee and beer." He turned his face to the closet. "Is Happy in there? I hear mumblings of 'Carla'."

Lucy walked towards the closet and opened the door, surely enough Happy was snuggling with a fish mumbling Carla's name. "Oh Luce, your here!" Natsu shouted excitedly as he stood up. "How are you? Care for some tea?" Natsu asked. Erza walked over to Gray and punched him. "On my way back here, I noticed some naked people... You should know what will happen."

"Actually, I could go for some tea." Lucy sat down at the empty bar next to Natsu. "Hopefully spiked tea." "NO MORE BEER!" Erza roared.

"Awww... your no fun."

** An hour later**

"Natsu, you should totally have these-" Lucy pointed to her breast. "This is the nicest thing any man can get!" Natsu grinned widely as he leaned on Lucy's shoulder due to being drunk again. "Thank you! You're my best friend!"

"... Wait a minute... are we talking about the same thing? You growing your own boobs or are you planning on taking mine?" Lucy asked confused. "I'm taking yours you weirdo!" Natsu tried to grope Lucy but he was smacked in the back of his head instead. "I need these!" "Can't I have them for a minute?" "NO!"

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**Thanks for reading... vote for the next character Lucy spends her drunk time with.**

**~Sen'ninriki says peace**


	3. Poll Vote

**Sorry to disappoint some of my fellow readers, but this is super important if you want another chapter.**

**Due to my spinning mind at the moment the next character depends on you. The only hint I can give you so this story can take place is that the setting will be on Tenrou Island. You must choose between the 3 people I provide you with so I can get you the chapter as soon as possible. I need the readers help to assist me with this story.**

**Thank you for those who took the time to read this, and those whom voted. I will name you in the next chapter for participating and probably dedicate a chapter to your helpfulness. Although for those who want a lemon, I think I'm a little too young to write those.**

_**Until next Chapter, see you soon.**_

**~Sen'ninriki says peace.**

**Oh wait, just to be sure just in case you just skimmed over my writing I need everyone who is a fan of my story to vote on my profile one of the 3 characters who will wake up in Tenrou with Lucy.**


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